This piece is really quite touching and beautiful, but as an artist who has never heard the song I wasn't quite sure which way to read the sentences on the art work. Based on the "I learned" I tried reading it left to right, but based on the way the sentences are positioned, it tells me to read everything right to left.

It could also benefit the image to have the cloud hiding his hand either a little more transparent, or have it placed behind the hand. It creates less distraction. As would have drawing the backside of the hand (in the zoomed box) rather than the inside.

My last issue is in the colour/font of the text in "I learned". It doesn't quite stand out, and could use either a brighter colour and/or outline, or just something a little bolder. My eye never went there first until it learned that it was supposed to.

Besides that I think your picture is wonderful. The red really gives a sense of a sunset, which could be symbolic of the end (falling to meet his end). It's really neat to see the different tones of hair (and everything else) in each panel as well.